


Here To Stay

by purpleskiesandcherrypies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Blames Himself, Dean Needs Love, F/M, Hand Jobs, Shower Sex, you need love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:23:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleskiesandcherrypies/pseuds/purpleskiesandcherrypies
Summary: "I'm not yours to save, Dean."





	Here To Stay

You open up your eyes hesitantly to immediately shut them again. Your surrounding was just too bright. It took a couple of seconds before you dare to open them again, blinking the heavy lids, trying to adjust to the light that illuminates the room.

“Hey.” The hoarse sound left your dry mouth. You said it to no one in particular because you didn’t know who was there with you.

You heard a faint whisper next to you and it wasn’t long until Sam was in your view. “Thank god, you’re back.” He tried to smile at you but you could see that he had that worried look on his face.

In the corner of your eyes you could see a figure hunched against the doorframe. As soon as you looked in that direction, you could only catch a glimpse of Dean’s back as he walked away.

“What happened?” You turn your attention back to Sam who was sitting next to your bed in your room in the bunker.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“We were blowing up the nest of Vamps. I remember I had a fight with one of them…” You wanted to say more but you simply couldn’t remember what came next. Eagerly, you searched your brain for more information but none could be found.

“He got you against a wall, chocking you as he was about to drive his fangs into you but then Dean made a move and he flung you across the room against the other wall. You hit things in between and ended up against the concrete wall. We thought he might have broken your neck.” Sam was holding your hand as he relived the scenes that happened a couple of hours before. “Thank god nothing major, Y/N. You’ve got a mild concussion and a sprained rib.” This time, you could see that Sam’s smile was genuine.

Still, you’re worried. Dean should have been the one by your side. He should have been the one sitting next to you and hold your hand. He should have been the one who smiled at you and told you the things you could not remember.

“Sam?” You looked at Sam and he knew what you were about to ask. His gaze fell on the hand that was holding you as he was searching for the right words.

“He hasn’t said anything the whole way back. As soon as we got you into your bed, he got back into his car and I thought that he might drive away but he just sat there for hours up until I called him when I saw you stir.”

“Does he.. I mean – ”

“Blames himself for it?” Sam cut you off. “You bet. You know him, Y/N. He was the one who said that you should go in while he was still gathering weapons in his trunk. In his state of adrenaline, he forgot how quick you could be and the next thing he knew, you were flung across the room. He saw red, Y/N. He almost took them out himself. He almost lost you.”

“But it wasn’t his fault.” You said, tears stinging your eyes. You said it to Sam but you really wanted to say it to Dean.

“It’s Dean. Everything is his fault. He will never stop blaming himself, Y/N.” Sam exhaled audibly.

You try to get out of bed with the help of Sam and you began to take baby steps towards the door. Looking back at Sam, you saw him nod in approval. It was like the two of you don’t need words to communicate. He knew that it was only you who could calm his brother down.

Walking along the corridor took you much longer but you fought against the exhaustion. You reached Dean’s room just when you were about to faint but you leaned against the door frame and it took you a couple of minutes more to regain some strengths to knock and open the door. Dean was not in his room but you could hear the shower beginning to run through the hallway. Slowly, you tip toed in the direction of the sound of water.

The door was half ajar and you stepped in, the steam of hot water dampening your clothes. You caught a glimpse of Dean. He was standing naked under the running water, his back to you, face down, as he let the water wash over him. You didn’t hesitate and got beneath the rain of water with him, the wet clothes now cling to your body like a second skin, as you hugged him from behind, your arms warped themselves around him from the back, your hands touching his delicate chest.

He didn’t turn around. You didn’t want him to. Your face rested on his back as you hugged him tighter. Dean steadied his hand on the wall to support himself. The both of you stood there for what felt like an eternity and you just enjoyed the intimate moment until Dean broke the silence. “I’m sorry.” His voice shook, you could hear the vibrations on his back where you laid your ears.

“It’s not your fault.” You whispered against his back before you placed a kiss on it. You knew that he heard you but you also knew, that he won’t agree with you on this.

“I’m not always yours to save, Dean.”

In one swift motion, Dean turned around and pushed you against the wall. You cried out in pain and that was when Dean realized that you were still fragile. He simply forgot and you tried your best to try to smile through the pain. “It’s ok.”

“No it’s not.” Dean said, unable to look you in your eyes.

“Really, Dean.” You put your hand on his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes were red. You couldn’t make out the tears from water but you knew that he had been crying. “You could never hurt me.”

“But I can get you killed.” He answered without hesitation. You couldn’t imagine how a person could hate himself so much that they won’t even make themselves see the good thing that was in front of them. It literally breaks your heart.

Dean’s face fell again and he took a step to the side for you to be able to leave. “You shouldn’t be here. I might hurt you.” He muttered softly as he turned his back on you. You let him take his spot facing the wall again but if he thinks that you’ll leave him in this state, he’s gotta find another way to drive you out.

You resumed your place too, hugging him again from behind. As you place a kiss on his back and rest your head on it. “I might not be yours to save, Dean. But I’m yours to keep. That is.. if you want me.”

Slowly, you let your hands trail along his chest, you wanted him close right now. You never wanted anything more. Your fingertips brushed against his firm stomach, trailing further down and you could feel Dean stirring underneath your touch.

Your hands slid further down and you could feel Dean’s back rise and fall as your fingers wrapped themselves around his member. Slowly, you began to trail your fingertips along the tip of his dick and down his shaft until you were cupping his balls in one of your hand while you start to stroke along his lengths with your other hand, drawing a moan from Dean as he rests his head on his arms against the wall.

“Stop blaming yourself. I’m here to stay.” You whispered low as you trailed your lips along his back and kissed down on it softly after each word.

Dean turned around, this time, more careful as he bent down and held you in his arms. Your hands lost contact with his cock but they soon found their way back and you continue to massage him.

He parted from you and softly touched your chin to tilt your head up, making you look him in the eye. “You’re mine to keep.” The words came out a whisper and as soon as they left his lips, you felt his mouth claiming yours. The kiss was intimate, longing and full of need. His tongue trailed along your lips before it disappeared in the depths of your mouth, wrapping them around yours.

“Tell me if I hurt you.” Dean said as he parted and began to peel your wet clothes from your body.

Lifting the shirt up your head was painful and Dean stopped short when he saw the pain on your face. “It’s ok.” You assured him and smiled a brave smile.

When you were standing naked before him, he hoisted you up and rests you gently against the wall.  “Is it really ok?” He asked you. You felt that he needed to make sure that he won’t hurt you. As if he ever could.

“I need you, Dean.” You breathed out before you move towards him, pulling him closer to you, kissing him with lust and need, it made your head spin but in a good way.

Dean lifted you up, pressing you against the wall as he kissed a trail down your neck, sucking and marking you while he positioned himself at your entrance. Dean took his time exploring your body, as if he wanted to remember every inch of you, remember what he could have lost.

“Dean…” You moaned as you felt your need overwhelm you. “Please.”

You heard him chuckle against the crook of your neck before he kissed you again and gently, he pushed himself in you. Both of you moaning into each other’s mouths at how good it felt. How right.

Dean began to rock his hips against yours, reaching deeper with each thrust as you held your arms tight around his neck, your nails digging into his broad shoulders. You could feel him tensing, his breath grew heavier as he tried to hold himself back, not wanting to thrust too hard, afraid that he would hurt you again.

“Dean, I won’t break. I want to feel you inside of me.” You breathed into his mouth.

That was enough for him to go a little harder on you but not the usual animalistic way of sex you were used with him. “In you?” He asked just to be on the safe side and you nod your head, smiling into the kiss.

Dean was panting hard as he sucked in your bottom lip and bit down on it, almost drawing blood, making you yelp into the kiss, your stomach clenched just a tiny fraction. Even though it was tiny, it was enough to squeeze down on his dick, giving Dean that last push. He growled against you as he released himself deep in your pussy while his tongue trailed along your bottom lip, soothing the pain he caused.

When he parted, he looked at you worriedly. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to… you know.” He said shyly and it makes you chuckle at how adorable he looked.

“That’s ok. I don’t always have to, you know.” You smiled as he released you and put you down on your feet.

“Well, let’s get you cleaned up and then we’ll see what we can do about that.” He smiled a sincere smile and you were happy that you got your Dean back again.

 


End file.
